This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

3/1/11

Inside This Ampersand

—Housing Policy Not Vague At All, Says Administrator With Mouth Full of Human Shit
—University Declares Itself "Private Society," Expels Student Body
—Area Freshman Pregames Pregame For Hell Of It
—Fauver Listserv Compiled Into Coffee Table Book
—Distressed Micah Feiring Spends Entire WSA Meeting On Phone With Grandmother
—Eclectic Member Watches Oscars Ironically
—Report: 83% of ACB Posts Written By Same Schizophrenic Sophomore
—Entire Theater Department Revealed To Be Sociology Experiment
—In Show Of Solidarity, WSA To Hold Next Meeting at “Beta Toga Drunkfest 2011”