This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

9/28/10

Peêet Pertussis ’14 for WSA Rep

VOICE OF THE GOLDEN FUTURE. ON MY LIFE, I SWEAR TO:


Abolish TuiTion - ChAnge WesleyAns FighT song To Alvin luCiers “i Am siTTing in A room” - rebuild moCon To be used For iTs originAl purpose As A Flying sAuCer - leAd WesleyAns seCession From CorrupT “uniTed sTATes oF AmeriCA” - CleAnsing CenTers - replACe Free Condoms WiTh FerTiliTy pills - insTiTuTe mAndATory one Child poliCy As requiremenT For grAduATion - replACe CurrenT Courses WiTh TeAChings oF Wisdom oF hoWArd soosAn Klugguh, lord oF The sKies



VOTE FOR ME OR FACE ETERNAL NIGHT