This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

9/7/10

Wesleyan According to the 2014 Facebook Group

In the spirit of Orientation, the Ampersand has taken the liberty of compiling the most useful and insightful information from the Wesleyan 2014 Facebook group into a handy-dandy Guide to Places, Faces, and Terms at Wesleyan. These are actual quotes. Check it:

- 200 Church: Better known as “Minority House,” this program house is located “on the greens, close the Usdan library,” or maybe “like, across from the Bayit, but I could be very wrong.” 200 Church are “generally really nice guys who are very tight.”
- The ACB: The what?
- Butts: The Butts are “where people who are generally neutral and quite honestly, awesome live.” Offers a “well-knit community.” Bonus: “you get to meet upperclassmen.” Note: if you don’t live in the Butts, you will meet zero upperclassmen, neutral or partisan.
- Class of 2014: They chose Wesleyan for “the University Major and the campus-wide downloading network.” They’re passionate about “guitar, existentialism, the history of film, nature as both a solitary entity and an environmental issue, and fucking party.” And this is sooo shameless, but you should check out my music/film blog at http://theboyandcolors. blogspot.com/
- Fauver: “If you like sleeping, DON’T COME TO FAUVER. If you like to party and football and stuff like that, that’s the place for you.”
- Queer Life: There is none. “The LGBQ disbanded like 2 years ago.” Sorry.
- Usdan: Main campus library, next to Minority House.
- Wesleyan: “A crazy unique place where everyone has such interesting hobbies and passions.”
- Wesleyan College Republicans: “An active student group with a lot of big plans for the fall, and there are some really great opportunities to get involved.” Their plans may be really big, but the thread has zero replies.
- WestCo: “Everyone smokes weed there.” “Not everyone smokes weed there.” “Everyone smokes weed there.” “Not everyone smokes week there.” Regardless, “I am on bended knee thanking the powers that be for granting me a much-coveted spot in this highly sought-after, magical place.” Everyone smokes weed there.
- Ze Who Must Not Be Named Day: “It’s just some getting crazy, loose, and taking drugs kind of uh . . . celebration?”

Map of Wesleyan: