This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Mytheos to Wesleyan: “You Been Trolled, Bitches.”

In a shocking revelation to the Wesleyan community this week, noted campus conservative Mytheos Holt ’10 declared himself “the ultimate troll,” revealing his entire right-wing persona to be a sick four-year-long joke.

“You been trolled, bitches!” announced the History and Government double major in a final Mytheology column, entitled Wesleyan Viewed From The LOLZ. “The school is my ACB, and my reCAPTCHA is ‘gullible as fuck.’ What now!”

Holt’s announcement refutes years of speculation that his conservatism is either a complex sociology experiment or an extended sort of Kaufman-esque performance art installation. Others have hypothesized that Holt’s persona is a DKE pledge task gone horribly awry; one Psychology professor, choosing to remain anonymous, terms the resulting condition “Schizophrenic Republican Fragmentation Syndrome.”

Following graduation, Mr. Holt intends to move to Williamsburg and work as a staff writer for Keith Olbermann’s Countdown.