This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


My 1st Article: Fall Break

Last week, Wesleyan’s campus students spent its fall break at the same length that it has been over the past however many fall semesters. But students interviews across castes and different social groups disagree unanimous, partially because of unhindering devotion to campus activity and also partially due to wanting to spend larger time with their friends or even families.

In interviews last Saturday, Richie Starzec Freshman testifies: “There is very little
commotion for me with which to occupy myself here during the course of fall break at Wesleyan,” he said. “Everybody’s going away, to home and other places, but my house exists in so far away a locale, that I can’t bring myself to receive transportation to this locale of which I mentioned before so vigorously.”

As it demonstrates with Ms. Starzec, many students see zeself being in unsmiling dilemmae as regards to the certain pickle of the vacant figure of activities, parties, and other on-campus incidents, especially after a certain instance of nighttime swallows campus whole and refuse to belch and vomit.

“The ground assigns a definitive aura, however hazy and unkind, though foggy, of,” said Adriin Brandi Freshman, “death.” “Especially when Wellesley hits fall break,” she affixes to her statement that was previously made prior to the instant she made her current statement, thank you, Adriin, the interview is now over.

“Eat, sleep, blaze; it sums up to equal my mid-October,” PERSON DID NOT WANT TO BE IDENTIFY.

Overall, regardless, people, most students some teachers delight in the prospect of the
return of the winters. But in subsequent autumns most campus denizens suspect a more
confident quality of longer Octobers due to camp’s remoteness control.

Let’s get that remoteness control.