This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

11/19/10

Index of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein"

N.B. The author of this index has never read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. The following are a compilation of presuppositions, particular to the author, based on hazy memories of Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein (1974) and the Sparknotes “Character List” and “Themes, Motifs & Symbols” pages.

Dreary afternoon, Prologue i-xxiv; William, Justine, and M. Krempe die of ringworm, 1;Victor lonely, narrates chapter of The Inferno in full, 5-27; “It was a dark and stormy night…” Also, some lightning, 31; Realizes that due to inferior craftsmanship, project will have permanent stitch-marks, also eight feet tall, green, 32; Painstakingly teaches monster to speak, results typical of uncommitted foreign language student 37-109; Monster discovers literature, confines himself to library, 115-178; Description of insufficient lighting in library, 116; References to Paradise Lost, 150-162; Monster decides John Milton is a “phony,” 162; Victor fails to notice Elizabeth, 190; Elizabeth weeps, stares out window, 191-207; Monster goes to town, unfulfilling conversation with cobbler, 210; Monster refused seating in luncheonette because he is “colored,” 215; Monster lonely, Victor lonely, 217; Elizabeth lonely. No one notices, 218; Victor plans female monster, monster overjoyed, 220; Victor: “Psyche!” 221; Monster burns Victor’s library, 225-240; References to Paradise Lost, 240; Victor: “I’m not angry; I’m disappointed,” 243; Monster and Margaret picnic in country; sexual ellipsis, 255; Descriptions of Nature, 260-327; Monster learns to play clarinet, seeks Victor’s approval, 330-361; Elizabeth weeps, 380; Margaret: “I, the miserable and the abandoned, am an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on,” 422; Margaret: “No one notices me!” 435; Elizabeth weeps, 436; Monster cast in Wicked as Scarecrow, 490.