This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Editors' Note

The Ampersand Evangelical Science Monitor is the official organ of the Young Earth Creation Science Institute of the Wesleyan World Hope Unity Church, an evangelical Body in Christ.

In light of recent events, the editors of the Ampersand Evangelical Science Monitor invite you to embrace the light of God into your hearts and souls, and to live with Him in your beings, in Earth and in Heaven, now and always. As the brothers of Beta test our faith and the Lord Jesus reveals Hirself in Hir glory in the sky above, we must strive on, in this mortal life, to pray and thrive in the grace and the glory of the Holy Spirit. If anything feels “not right,” trust yourself. We do this for your wellbeing. We ain’t claiming no animal as our relative.
—Benjamin & Zach