This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Ways To Drive Your RA Crazy

- Ask, “Where is the bathroom?”
- Ask if you can go to breakfast in your pajamas.
- Tell them you’re having trouble flushing the toilet.
- Ask if babies are born from the butt.
- Ask if there is a truancy officer.
- Ask them to put calamine lotion on your infected nipple piercing.
- Never lower your hand at a hall meeting.
- Say loudly that you believe that spectra of gender identity, sexual idenitiy, and biological sex are acutally cycles, i.e. if you become too gay, you get straight.
- Pucker your lips whenever in their presence: they won’t know if something is wrong or if you’re doing it on purpose.
- Ask if you can do crunches in your room, or only in the athletic center.
- Practice your keytar.
- Ask, “Is unlocking a door like sex for a key?”
- Turn hir peephole around so you can watch ze in hir room.