This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


“In The Company of Others” Replaced By “In The Company of Otters”

An intern-level error in the university’s orientation office has wrought one significant change to orientation this year: “In The Company of Others,” a long-term staple of Wesleyan’s orientation program which has for years provided an invaluable opportunity for freshmen to hear upperclassmen stories revolving around identity and understanding, will be replaced with “In The Company of Otters,” an opportunity for over 800 freshmen to interact with three North Pacific sea otters.

“We are not entirely sure how this happened, but we suspect one of our interns may have misread an email subject,” shrugged Director of New Student Orientation Timothy Shiner. “It’s just one letter off, so he figured it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

“At any rate, we can’t go back now,” Shiner added, stroking one of the otters, whom he has
christened Devon. “Do you know how hard it is to book otters in Connecticut? It’s a nightmare.”

The event, which boldly steamrolls over more than a decade’s worth of tradition surrounding dozens of poignant “In The Company of Others” speeches, will take place in Fiske 304. Each otter—Devon, Michael, and Waka Flocka Jr.—will be situated on its own marbletop table from 2:00 PM to 3:30, during which time members of the Class of 2015 are expected to come fondle each creature.

“These otters have come a long way, and they are very excited to meet you,” Shiner assured. “They are the heaviest members of the weasel family.”

Additionally, sources reveal, Common Moment may be replaced with “Common Marmut” to reflect the orientation program’s newfound wildlife focus.