This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Chet Grundle '09 has a job!

By Frank Fineis
The Secret Weapon
  As evidence of the strengthening economy, many formerly unemployed Wes grads are finding themselves in sweet new money positions.

  Chet Grundle ’09 has a new job at Dixar, a Pixar affiliate. Grundle recalled his only meeting with the CRC during his senior year: “They asked me if I had any sweet family hookups, and I said, ‘Nah man, I’m from Minneapolis.’ Then they told me they had run out of jobs.” He pursued his only option, an unpaid internship at a casino owned by the local Minnesota Sioux.

  But things are looking up for Grundle these days. Upon viewing his viral video “Sh*t Gambling Addicts Say,” Dixar offered him an unpaid internship writing screen- plays for thrilling new sequels such as The Pink Panther: Crossing the Color Line, The Fast and the Furious 6 Hour Energy, and Baby Geniuses 3: Vin Diesel Is Mother Goose.

  He is really positive about the future: “Yeah I would think that [Dixar] should start paying me soon because living in my storage locker is getting out of hand. But at the moment, this isn’t a job, so I don’t know why you’re interviewing me.”

  He has a point. But regardless, America has the proverbial “Open” sign on it and is clearly winning the future — due in large part to Chet Grundle’s plethora of amazing sequels lying on the horizon.
CRC WTF, page 1111111111112