The Wesleyan Ampersand: The Turducken: a culinary example of Maximization

This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

1/26/10

Posted by PGelly at 4:18 PM

College Endowments

Above: The endowments of prominent liberal arts colleges, in millions of dollars. Wesleyan President Michael Roth said of his university’s ...
Michael "Sloth"
'09 Sex Party Brings College Godlessness to New Level

Among the many human couples frantically exchanging fluids and bacteria at Eclectic’s Saturday night Sex Party, there are reports of wanton ...
Empty Thesis Carrels A Haven for Druggies and Wild Animals

This spring’s slackadisical seniors have neglected to clear out and secure their thesis carrels, says a new report from Public Safety, and t...
A Few Final Exam Questions

The Ampersand knows that exams are stressful, forcing students to draw from their innermost reserves of perseverance and Adderall. To that ...
Roth’s Workout Obsession

As any tour guide worth their mettle will be glad to tell you, President Roth likes to maintain an active and visible presence aro...
Douchebag Alert (ONLINE EXCLUSIVE)
Michael Roth’s Birthday Wishlist, April 2012

— Copy of Kari’s new book about animals with underlines already in it — Gift certificate to Thai Garden — New assistant/best f...
& WesFest Edition

WesFest is an event with two sides. There’s the image put forth by the University: three days of exciting, diverse, multicultural events des...
Roth Commences Midlife Crisis

The Chevy dealer’s lips gleamed with sweat as his bowels fluttered with excitement. He always got diarrhea after a big sale. The w...

► 2012 (51)
- ► 11/04 - 11/11 (33)
- ► 10/28 - 11/04 (11)
- ► 10/21 - 10/28 (4)
- ► 02/12 - 02/19 (3)

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