The Wesleyan Ampersand: The Turducken: a culinary example of Maximization

This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

1/26/10

Posted by PGelly at 4:18 PM

Roth Commences Midlife Crisis

The Chevy dealer’s lips gleamed with sweat as his bowels fluttered with excitement. He always got diarrhea after a big sale. The w...
College Endowments

Above: The endowments of prominent liberal arts colleges, in millions of dollars. Wesleyan President Michael Roth said of his university’s ...
A Few Final Exam Questions

The Ampersand knows that exams are stressful, forcing students to draw from their innermost reserves of perseverance and Adderall. To that ...
Empty Thesis Carrels A Haven for Druggies and Wild Animals

This spring’s slackadisical seniors have neglected to clear out and secure their thesis carrels, says a new report from Public Safety, and t...
Orientation Flowchart
The Nazis Are Behind it All

The Nazis have infiltrated Wesleyan, I swear. The truth is dangling in our faces like a gilded crucifix, but we’re all too busy being indie ...
Viagra® Kids
Roth’s Workout Obsession

As any tour guide worth their mettle will be glad to tell you, President Roth likes to maintain an active and visible presence aro...
An Email from Joshua Boger, Chairman of the Board, Regarding Michael Roth’s Contract Extension

On March 1st, I sent out an email to the Wesleyan community announcing that Michael Roth’s contract has been extended for another seven year...
Tweet from Piers

http://ventvox.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/yatsu_vibe.gif —Piers

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