This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

2/24/10

Points Of View

Valentine’s Day wasn’t a heart-shaped success for everyone. In fact, many of us are horribly lonely. How do you get over Valentine’s Day misery?


Anne Norton ’12
“I became a fan of Red & Black Café™ on Facebook! I heard if you become a fan, someone else wins something. Sounds like my love life already.”


Katrina Klein ’11
“I smoked a pack of Camel Cigarettes™— delicious smoke and smooth after-taste. Soon my lungs can be as black as my heart.”


Marcos Garcia ’10
“I headed down to Pet Care Plus™ in Middletown. There’s a special sale on ferrets going on. Bestiality’s just a social construct.”