This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


The Editor Sells Out

The Ampersand has been struggling lately. 2009 saw the last of a slew of terrible investments, in things like Sony ice cream, helicopter-attachments for horses, and the XFL. There was also that month-long unrelenting onslaught of what we first thought was swine flu, because of the mild fever and dry mouth, but later realized was Romanian hyper-rabies after all the purple-green skin blotches and bloody eyeballs. Due to these unfortunate incidents, coupled with the unfortunate identity theft, the Ampersand has lost all of its money and has decided to sell the entire page to local and national corporate sponsors. We understand how upsetting this must be for the general public, and please be assured that we’ve hand picked our new business partners ourselves, keeping in mind only the best interest and well being of our general readership. Drink RadiCola!