This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Celebrate the Digital Movement

This month is national Robot Awareness Month (RAM). In observance, WesCRABS (refer to Editor’s note), Wesleyan’s largest robot activist group, would like to inform the student body of some upcoming and ongoing events:

- Starting next Monday, the cafeteria will add a Binary Data section to the menu. Workers promise to program the very best flavors. (Note: As of now, there is still no Vegan Binary Data option, much to the dismay of the combined vegan/robot collective, VEG-CRABS.)

- WesCRABS continues its protest of the screening of Terminator at the Film Series this month. Although the movie is a classic, it presents a skewed and potentially damaging caricature of conscious machines. We encourage students to continue to protest, though we ask that robot students refrain from directing their death ray eyes at film department professors. We feel that these incidents have already hurt our overall message.

- BotHouse will host its annual Android Party on March 16th. Come dressed as your favorite robot that looks just like a human, and learn how to fold origami unicorns!

- Lastly, on the March 29nd, there will be a talk by Berri Trosius, a sentient hyper-optimized data access network, who will discuss her experiences of discrimination by both humans and non-hyper-optimized data access networks.