This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Roth Just Casually Wondering if Elton John is Available for Spring Fling

Sources close to President Roth confirmed yesterday that the 54-year-old university administrator has been “just casually wondering if Elton John might possibly be available to perform at Spring Fling,” possibly going so far as to “you know, just browse by his website, no big deal.” Roth assured that he is not questioning the Social Committee’s lineup. “Just, y’know, out of curiosity,” Roth clarified via email. “It’s not like I don’t think our lineup is cool or anything. The Wavve-Tang Clan definitely brings down the house.” John, 64, is scheduled to tour Minnesota and Canada in early May and will not be performing at Wesleyan.