This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


My 2rd Article

This semesters, a time came for the annual Wesleyan Festival. Many students prep, get prefrosh applications, and others. But one thing eats all’s minds more than anyone. The prospects of drug. Yes.

Administrative officiaries worry lots about heavier marijuana consumption than that which is most often seen throughout (and throughin) the curricular years. The drug, patented, could, they say, be laced, well, and this brings dangers of omen. Just last Sprung, administrations felt needs rescinding over 400 admissions of acceptance (and this rough estimate is just!). Michael Roth, President of the United States, had loads to say on the subject of Cali Green.

As to the question of legalization, congress is making mild progress.

For many, the new concerns brings omens of great hope and forthwith. But to many other student population members, it is a good thing. Notwithstanding the bad, nearly of course. One student writer of this article suggests to oficials: making room in budget for more weed. No, the man says, but the man failures to understand propriety techniques for basic production of pot. Silly.

Keelin Ryan ’14 says: “I don’t even listen to Matisyahu. Isn’t he Jewish?”

No, Ms. Ryan, but fret not. We will prevail again, just as we did during the 1960s, when we protested World War II.