This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Haunting & Taunting: Undead Marijuana Victim Fucks With Prefrosh

Now is the time of year when we celebrate everything awesome about Wesleyan, along with the new faces that will eventually represent it. It is a happy time, but for the few prefrosh who meet the ghost of Joey O’Shallahan, it can be weird as shit.

Few people know that the only person ever to have overdosed on marijuana was actually a Wesleyan prefrosh named Joey O’Shallahan. In April 1983, Joey decided to visit his cousin Seamus during WesFest.

After hitting the bong “like five times” and spending two hours in the “Dutch Oven” (ask your parents), he kept repeating, “No, I don’t want to go see Mr. Mom.”

Joey went to chill on Foss Hill, but he was just too high. Some say he melted into the Hill, some say he evaporated. End of story: he is (un)dead, haunting the shit out of other prefrosh. He talks to them in a voice that sounds like Bobby from “King of the Hill.”

Joey really wanted to come to Wesleyan, so he is pretty jealous tends to come off as a dick. A prefrosh I hosted last year described to me his encounter with Joey:

“We were in Weshop trying to buy some Ben & Jerry’s when Joey appeared to my prefrosh and started saying all these douchey things like ‘Hey, I bet you don’t even know what FGSS stands for,’ and ‘Did you know there’s a one dollar ine for eating candy in Weshop?’”

So if you think your prefrosh is talking to an imaginary friend, just realize that this is Joey O’Shallahan.