This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.

4/15/11

& WesFest Edition

WesFest is an event with two sides. There’s the image put forth by the University: three days of exciting, diverse, multicultural events designed to show students (read: parents) how vibrant and stimulating life at Wesleyan is. And then there’s the reality for visiting students: unchecked debauchery. Parents:your worst nightmares are true. By noon tomorrow, your child may well have attended a feminist pornography workshop/sex toy demonstration, shot-gunned a FourLoko, consumed a fearful combination of opium and psilocybin mushrooms, signed the “preliminary interest form” for the “Environmental Dance Certiicate,” discovered hir inner “wesbian,” gotten a nipple piecing (or a “Prince Albert”), and fornicated with abandon, possibly for the first time,possibly with a much older partner, possibly in public.