This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Roth Embroiled in TDF Group Drama

This year Michael Roth is sad. Ordinarily he would be looking forward to rocking the Tour De Franzia with a group of close friends. But it looks like this year he’ll have to go it alone.

“Man, this really bites the big one,” complained the University’s president. “I was gonna be in a group with Kari, but now she’s with all her Animal Studies friends. They’re dressing as their favorite animals. Hers is our dog, I think.”

Roth also thought about teaming up with eminent medievalist Gary Shaw, but Shaw said he just wanted to do a group of one. “Gary’s been having a hard year,” said Roth. “I hope he doesn’t drink too much alcohol.”

Head of ResLife Stacy Phelps reminded Shaw that he still had to form a group even if he was in a group of one.

“Maybe I’ll go in with the IT Help Desk,” said Roth. “I’m worried they’re a bunch of lightweights. As long as we’re all sipping out of the same wine bladder, I’ll have a good time.”
Roth added, “I hope Dean Whaley doesn’t catch me. He didn’t have to send that email to my mom. God.”