This is the online component of the humor section of the Argus, the Wesleyan University newspaper.


Summer Housing Students Get Multicultural Experience

As the class of 2015 prepares for the final stretch of its first year, it behooves one to remember that some of these fine young things are struggling to make ends meet. That’s right— come fall many members of the rising sophomore class will be without one of the necessities of life: shelter. I refer, of course, to those who were assigned summer housing.

As everyone knows, there are about a billion too many people in 2015, and though Modest Proposal- like suggestions have been circulating around North College for months, Laura Lay ’15 engages with her hosts. it seems the execution of such a plan would put a moderate to heavy strain on the alumni network, thereby hurting our venerable institution’s already meager endowment.

So where will these “young minds,” “scholar-athletes,” and “Hot Rachel” live next year? That’s the question being asked on most ACB threads, including “Anger...everyone sucks” and “why don’t Asians under- stand sarcasm?” The answer: many students will be required to live with Middletown host families. “It just makes sense,” explains one ResLife member. “Like the sentence, ‘Do you surf the library?’”

A representative from the Office of International Studies agrees. “It might be hard for them to understand the lo- cal accents at first, but once they get used to it, I think the different cultural perspectives will be really valuable.”

 The last time the university had to resort to such measures, it was met with mixed result. Sam Gringold, ’83, noted, “I mean it was nice of the fam- ily, I guess, but it was pretty annoy- ing when my host mother made me stay in on Fridays for family movie nights.”

Another student recalls, “That was what made me decide not to go abroad.” The system wasn’t a complete fail- ure though, to which many students can attest. “The food was pretty weird, but once you get used to it, Usdan seems weird! I love cultural immersion!” says one enthusiastic alum.

Despite the obvious drawbacks, many students are excited for a chance to connect with individuals outside the “Wesleyan Bubble” and even those who aren’t are, as expected, choosing the option over Light House.